Equal Rent

Equal Rent, Equal Ownership? Not In Tel Aviv

Perhaps I simply had never entered into a similar situation before in the States, but I quickly discovered when I moved into an apartment with a roommate in Tel Aviv that there is an unwritten law in apartment sharing situations – first come, first rights.

I’ll explain: let’s say you’ve already searched through the homeless website classified ads and visited the 5 gazillion apartments where they put you on a list with a hundred other people who also want to live there and never call you back.  Finally, you manage to find a place within your price range with a roommate you think you’ll get along with all right and they’ve chosen you.  [Cue sound effects of finding the Holy Grail]. You move your things into your new bedroom, imagining all the ways you’ll make this place your own. You spend about a week getting everything into place. Pictures are up; bed is in the right place. It’s time to venture out. How can you make your mark on your new home? There’s that small under-utilized room. It could make a great dining room, if we could just move some of the furniture around! Oh, but not so fast, home fry!  It doesn’t matter that your rent is the same as your flat mate – they were there first – this is their pad.

Decorating issues stand out the most, especially for women who are usually the most sensitive to it. That ugly table that takes up half the room? Oh, yeah, it’s staying.  Don’t try to fight it. Everyone will tell you – whoever was there first gets to call the shots.  

Now, you could try to assert yourself.  Here’s how it will most likely play out. You cautiously, in the most sensitive to her feelings voice, broach the subject of how those pillows she has selected for the living room aren’t necessarily in the best condition, or suggest that perhaps her dark painting of sad clowns isn’t really the most uplifting for the entryway.  Chances are, no matter how delicately put, your comments will be ill received. She’ll assert that her grandmother gave her that clown painting and she likes it - thank you very much. The pillows? They’re cozy and give the room a shanti-shanti feel that reminds her of Sinai. Metaphorical tail between your legs, you will resign yourself to the situation. All you can do is patiently wait until she has a boyfriend she wants to move in with. Then the apartment is yours, ALL YOURS.  Will you take your new flat mate’s opinions into consideration? Hells no!

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